Losing someone you love is one of the most difficult experiences life can throw at you. At some point, we all face the heartbreak of saying goodbye to someone we cared about deeply. For some, the pain fades slowly over time. For others, certain losses hit harder and leave a lasting impact on the heart and mind. One fascinating and emotional aspect of grief is when a person who has passed away shows up in your dreams. If this has ever happened to you, you might wonder: what does it really mean?

Dreaming about someone who’s no longer alive can be powerful. Some people might dismiss it as a random memory bubbling up from the subconscious. But for many, these dreams feel incredibly real, vivid, and even spiritual. After a loss, everyone processes grief in their own way—some cry uncontrollably, others retreat into silence, and a few act like everything is fine just to get through the day. Yet, a surprisingly common experience among the grieving is seeing the departed in their dreams.

So, what’s going on when the dead visit us in our sleep?

According to Patrick McNamara, a neurologist and associate professor of psychiatry at Boston University, these experiences are known as “visitation dreams.” In his view, they aren’t your average dreams. He describes them as dreams in which the deceased appear to the dreamer and seem very much alive, sometimes conveying comfort or a sense of peace. McNamara, who often shares insights on dreams in his “Dream Catcher” blog for Psychology Today, has spent years exploring the science and emotional significance behind dreams. Despite his scientific background and natural skepticism, even he was deeply moved by a dream he had about his deceased parents. In that moment, he genuinely felt he had connected with them—an experience that left a lasting impression on him.

He raises an important point: if someone who studies dreams scientifically can feel such a strong emotional conviction, it’s no surprise that others may believe these dreams are real visitations. In fact, many researchers have looked into this exact phenomenon to better understand its emotional and psychological impact.

A study published in the American Journal of Hospice and Palliative Care in 2014 concluded that dreams involving the deceased are both common and meaningful. The study found that these dreams often include memories of the past, visions of the deceased looking healthy and at peace, or even messages being communicated from the other side. Sometimes, these dreams reflect moments surrounding the loved one’s illness or death, while others show the departed in a serene afterlife, sending messages of reassurance.

Another study from 2016, conducted by Canadian researchers, focused on 76 middle-aged individuals who had recently experienced the loss of someone close. Among them, 67.1% said their dreams helped strengthen their belief in life after death. Even more remarkably, 70% reported that these dreams felt like actual visits from the deceased, and 71% said the dreams made them feel more connected to the loved one they had lost.

Jennifer E. Shorter, a psychologist from the Institute of Transpersonal Psychology in Palo Alto, California, has also studied this subject. In her work titled Visitation Dreams in Grieving Individuals: A Phenomenological Investigation into the Connection Between Dreams and the Grieving, she outlines four consistent features of visitation dreams:

1. The deceased appears as they did in life—but often healthier, younger, or more vibrant.

2. The deceased usually conveys a message, often reassuring the dreamer that they are okay or at peace.

3. Communication tends to be telepathic, more felt than heard, as if the message is transferred emotionally rather than through spoken words.

4. The overall mood of the dream is calm and peaceful, with a clear structure and sense of harmony.

These unique traits help distinguish visitation dreams from standard dreams. While we may not fully understand the science behind why they occur, the emotional weight they carry is undeniable. For many, these dreams offer comfort, closure, and a sense of connection that extends beyond death.

Have you ever dreamed about a loved one who has passed away? Was it a comforting experience? Whether you view it as your subconscious helping you heal or something more spiritual, these dreams can leave a deep impression—and perhaps even bring a little peace in the middle of grief.